Saturday, September 12, 2015

Annie Baker & Anastasia Dorval S/R Outline "Bully" Redo

Summary Response Outline

Summary:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, main idea
In the documentary Bully, Lee Hirsch manages to convey the idea that bullying can greatly influence one’s perception of themselves and their decisions.
  • Supporting ideas to prove main ideas
At only the age of 12, Alex now believes that those who demonstrate physical violence and brutality towards him are his friends. At age 14, Ja’meya’s sense of right and wrong are taken to the extreme after she suffers from a surplus of bullying. She justified the bullying by scaring off the kids by waving a gun around on her bus. At age 16, Kelby has a change of perspective when she starts thinking that the world needs to accept those who don’t conform to society’s expectations. Finally coming in at age 17, Tyler Long took his own life due to the major bullying that surrounded him on a daily basis.
  • Explanation of ideas
Alex was so desperate for friends, that he took all of his bullies’ physical and mental abuse as jokes, influencing his decisions when it came to making friends. Ja’meya’s sense of right and wrong was taken to the extreme after suffering from a surplus of bullying. Kelby’s idea of the world took a positive turn as she was bullied. Unfortunately, Tyler Long took his life because of bullying.  
  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Lee Hirsch’s Bully, a documentary, showcases and illustrates so beautifully that bullying can alter someone’s perception of themselves, the world, and even their morals.

Response:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, agree/disagree (correctly portrays/ incorrectly portrays), because ___________ and ______________
Lee Hirsch’s Bully accurately portrays the idea of bullying, because it shows you the devastating effects that bullying can have on people not only emotionally, but mentally.
  • Claim 1: Ja’meya’s feelings were not only being hurt due to bullying, but caused her to suffer a mental breakdown.
    • Set-up:
Ja’meya’s torment led to a weak self-esteem, but as it went on she started to break down mentally, which eventually led her to bring a gun onto her school bus. She had no intention of hurting anyone, but it got to the point where she felt the need to induce fear among her peers.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (       )
Ja’meya cries on her mother’s shoulder, “I didn’t want to hurt anybody, I only wanted to scare them”(Hirsch, Bully).
    • Explanation of quotation to prove claim:
Ja’meya thought that the only way to stop people from bullying her was to induce fear in her tormentors. She decided the best way to make it stop was to use a gun. All of the mental abuse she suffered, in her mind, amounted to physical violence.
  • Counterclaim 1: However, bullying may not have been the cause of her mental breakdown.
    • Set-up:   
When taking into consideration the possibility that there could be other factors at work in her breakdown, bullying is not the only explanation. There could have been trouble at home, or something about the way she sees herself, that caused her to take the actions that she did on the bus that day.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (       )
Ja’meya explains how she feels to the cameraman, “It feels like everybody just turned against me”(Hirsch, Bully).
Explanation of quotation to prove counterclaim: When Ja’meya says this, she is not talking about anybody except herself. Therefore it could’ve not been the bullying that caused Ja’meya’s mental breakdown, but instead her self image.  
  • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument?
Many think that bullying does not severely affect people and their decisions. This can be compelling because there are some forms of bullying such as minor jokes, and pranks that will not affect everyone in this way. While this view seems plausible at first glance, one must realize that most forms of bullying do lead to changes in decision making processes, and can greatly affect us.
  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Bully, a production under Lee Hirsch, so beautifully portrays the effects of bullying on not only our emotions, but our minds. It manages to capture how bullying can twist our perception into something awkward and grotesque.

1 comment:

  1. Good summary-make sure to use subject agreement especially in your first few sentences. Also, make sure to avoid opinion statements such as " so beautifully "

    Good work on your response. Make sure your citations are punctuated correctly (Hirsch). Also, make sure to extend the thinking in your rebuttal. You have a lot of evidence to move your argument forward here. Do so.

    Make sure your conclusion is one sentence as it should be a concluding sentence.

    16/20

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